Sunday, July 09, 2006

Road Rage: Part 2

To continue my story that I began last time, he rolls up in his big rig. As I see him drive up I begin to realize that this is no ordinary alchoholi- I mean truck driver. I chuckled to myself as I opened the door to my car and got out imagining the humor that would inevitably ensue. He jumped out of his truck and walked through an open part of the gate into the storage center. We approach each other without hesitation and I catch a glimpse of that scociopath that lives deep inside some people. He was sweating, though not profusely as he balled up his fists. And it began. I asked "What are you doing?" like an embaressed parent watching their child through a tantrum.

"I'm gonna pound yer face in!" he dralled.
"Are you?"
"Yeah, I gotta teach you a lesson!"

I'm not trying to be funny. That's really what he said. A trucker wanted to teach me a life lesson. Hmmm.
"I think I'll pass on the life lessons from a trucker today but thanks anyway."
"You're a fuckin' smartass!"
"Thank you. I agree."

At this point a couple of things start to happen. Firstly, I had some trouble keeping a straight face. I guess you had to be there. Secondly, Alastair had come out of the office and was putting together what was happening.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked
"I'm about to beat the shit out of this kid!"
"Huh!? How old are you?"
"That doesn't matter. All that matters is... He's--"
That's when I jumped back in, "Are you on the clock right now? I should call your boss."
"I am the boss! It's my company!"
"And you still have to drive your own trucks?! How sad."
This is when his profuse sweating started.

The banter went on for a few more minutes until I had to actually pull out my phone and threaten that I would really call the cops. Eventually he waddled back to his car swearing that he would one day see me again and that day would be the day gets his revenge. I haven't seen him since. Lucky for me I'm sure.

Movie: Dumb and Dumberer